So Heidi Montag got a new set of tits. It is rare for me to say a girl actually looks better with her new tits, but Heidi, I’d bang the silicone out of those cock-knockers if you’d let me!

This girl started life out as a nobody. Hey, we all do right? Then she made friends with someone who wasn’t a nobody. In fact, this other person had a hit TV show. Now Heidi Montag is a somebody too. Go figure!

Just about the only thing I cannot figure out is why this babe is still wasting time married to a nobody. Spencer is a douche bag. I mean, for Christ’s sakes, his fucking name is Spencer. Have you ever met a guy named Spencer that wasn’t a douche?

Well, time for me to tell you about Realty Star Scandals. A site that collects all of the sweet photos and videos celebs accidentally mis-place. Which is another way of saying, they break into their hotel rooms and steal their sexy photos and homemade videos!

Woo-hoo!

The sweetest part is that you get to access all of this shit, which was mostly obtained illegally and you can’t be held accountable for any of it. How fucking sweet is that? Can I get a wha-wha?